Always By My Side
by NHL-chan
Summary: Everyone calls me crazy. My neighbors started to leave me. They said I am creepy—because I laughed alone in my garden and keep telling the air "I love you too, git". I ignore them, simply because they didn't know Alfred was there. Simply because they didn't know Alfred was not in a grave far away from me. USUK.


I didn't believe it.

The day before, I saw Matthew in front of my house. His face was so pale and his body seemed weak. I could see tears streaming down his cheeks, I could see how hard he clenched his fists. I wanted to ask why, how the heck he ended crying his eyes out in my terrace, but he suddenly hugged me and cried harder. I was puzzled. I was surprised. I felt something bad. So bloody bad.

And the first thought that ran in my mind, was Alfred.

Matthew's voice was trembling. His whole body did the same. When Alfred's name glided from his wet lips, my bad feeling proved. I was speechless while he was explaining everything. My heart skipped a beat and I felt the gravity betrayed me. It was like my foots weren't stepped on the ground. It almost felt like my soul was pulled out a second after I realised what was happening. My mind went blank.

I couldn't remember anything but darkness.

That day, I, Arthur Kirkland, stood in front of a coffin in a simple church near my house. Near Alfred's house. Near our house. Many people cried and mourned and, and, it was all black. Blackblackblack. I didn't know what happened. I really didn't know. I tried to ask Feli, Elizaveta, Kiku, whoever that stood still or cried in disbelief.

Feli said Alfred was dead. Elizaveta said Alfred was dead. Kiku said Alfred was dead. They said my soul mate, my beloved husband, my Alfred was dead. The one that always showered me in plenty of kisses everyday, the last and first one I see every night and morning, the only one I really love in my entire life, in this 27 years, was dead.

I didn't believe it.

How could I believe, when even that morning, I still can feel his presence beside me? How could I believe, when even before I went to this damn church, I still could kiss him and hear him said how much he loves me? How could I believe, even though the dead body in front of me was really Alfred, when I could feel his arms wrapped in my waist that time?

How could I believe, when I couldn't believe so?

I touched his pale cheek. It was still so warm in my hand. It was still so pure, so alive. I grabbed his hand and held it tightly, like I usually do when he fall asleep—like now. Yes, I was sure he was just sleeping that time. His face was too peaceful and handsome for a dead body, like always, like that morning when I saw him asleep beside me.

Slowly, I released his hand and sat on the coffin's table.

"Oh Alfred, you bloody fool..." I murmured. "coffin is really not a good place to sleep... Why don't you get up now so we can go home and sleep in our bed?"

Even though I knew he won't answered, I continued.

"Alfred, my love, do you know what today is? Yes, it's a Sunday. Now, we are supposed to be at home and play in the garden. Well, I can sew in my chair, and you can play with my hair like you always do. Or, if you feel rather tired, we can just watch a movie while eating some snacks. Do you know what? I finally can make that hamburgers you like so much. You said it was delicious, didn't you? So, let's go and have some fun. You always wait for it, don't you, git?"

I smiled weakly. He didn't answered.

I cupped his face and brought my face near his. Our forehead met—hell, it felt so warm. His now closed eyes was the only thing I saw. I wonder where those beautiful blue eyes were.

"Alfred, you wanker, do you know how much I love you?"

My eyes started burning. My chest was hurt. My eyelids felt rather heavier and everything was blur, dark, black. Blackblackblack.

Suddenly, I felt a warm, soft, familiar brush on my lips.

_I opened my eyes, and finally, I saw those eyes I crave so much._

"_Ahaha, Artie! Your face is so red! I bet Antonio will recognize cheek as tomatoes!" Alfred laughed and hugged me tightly. I mumbled some cursing words like git, hell, fool, and leaned closer to his warm embrace. Comfortable. How I like it so much. _

"_Alfred..."_

"_Hm?"_

"_Let's make a promise,"_

"_What is it?"_

"_Never leave me."_

_Alfred laughed. I didn't really hear what he was said, but I was entirely sure I heard the most important thing._

"_How can I leave you, when dying is easier and less-painful than that?"_

**.**

**.**

Alfred's burial was two years past. But I still didn't believe it.

He still lives in the same house as mine. He still sleeps in the same bed as mine. He still kisses me every hour, he still smile at me every minute, he is still here—with me. He doesn't break his promise.

Everyone tells me that I am crazy, believing a funny thing as a promise from the past. My neighbors started leave me, they said because I am creepy—because I laughed alone in my garden and keep telling the air "I love you too, git".

I ignore them, simply because they just don't know. They don't know Alfred was there when I laugh. They don't know Alfred was there when I replied those three words.

Alfred was there, not in a grave far away from me.

So when I feel my time has come now, when I lay half-consciously in a hospital bed alone this night, I don't even feel fear or lonely. I know Alfred is here, beside me, accompany me. My palm is warm by his grip, and I know it will always be.

When my vision went blur, and the last one I see is those blue eyes and warm smile, I feel nothing but happiness.

Alfred was right. Dying is easier and less-painful than leaving or being left.

* * *

Hetalia is not mine. All rights reserved.

FYI, I cried when I wrote it. English is not my mother language. This is my first time making Hetalia fic. I only get 86 from 100 in my English daily test. This fic isn't beta-ed. Who wants to be my beta reader? XD

Please, let me know what you think! Keep or delete? Thank you for reading!

**.**

**Jakarta, 04-20-2013**

**Best regards,**

**NHL-chan**


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